Final by Cesia L (awesome shmawesome)

English 7 Final Exam

Context and Reflection

I chose this Nanowrimo piece because it shows my ability to introduce a novel and convey the narrator's character to the reader. The thing that made me choose this piece, and what really stood out from all the rest of my work was that this one especially communicates with the audience and gets them involved. This was a trial for me to see if I could emphasize that point and almost talk to the reader. The changes I made to this piece were correcting my GUMS, which would of course make it better because GUMS errors would distract people from the actual story, and I also added some more rhetorical questions, to make it as if I were carrying on a conversation with the audience.

The Piece:

Chapter 1 of Berlin Barricade

1961… 1961… This date echoed in my head.

Why had we not done anything? Why had nobody done anything?

This was the year everyone’s real troubles had started. Me? Sure, I had problems! Who doesn’t? My mother was always grating on my nerves, she had this idea of a “perfect German daughter” and I REALLY fell short of that expectation. Did I mention her bizarre punishments? In other words, you wouldn’t want to be me.  And my dad... well, he just wasn’t around very much. I never actually thought of him as my father, since he had never played the role of a parent. He owned a restaurant which was quite well known in fact! I was told that I was “so lucky to have a cool family”. Yeah, RIGHT. He even had an apartment above the restaurant. Having your father practically living on the opposite side of Berlin wasn’t my idea of “lucky”. I rarely saw him. Aside from that though, I didn’t have too many serious problems. Like I said, 1961 was the year that everything started falling out of place and nightmares came true all over Berlin. In other words, the wall of separation came up, more commonly known as the Berlin Wall. Basically a terrible idea meant to blockade and try to starve people into submission, but I guess there has to be at least a few dingbats in this world that I could mention… Those russians that took place in it are a great example of a few., and there are many more.

I was completely ignorant of what was going to happen.

About the Author

I’m Cesia Lehmann, and as a student in general, I’m a tactile learner, which means I learn new concepts and styles by actively doing it, not just hearing about it. As an English student though, I enjoy free-writing and trying out new challenges like not using said, or using figurative language, or writing as many words as possible. What I strongly dislike is reading aloud or sharing my writing, and one situation is this final exam. That’s my largest weakness; having confidence in my work and personal pieces. I have improved progressively this year in English, since last year I wrote clunky-sounding sentences and now they flow more smoothly. Also, now I can move my stories forward, unlike before when my writing consisted of individual scenes that didn’t adequately fit together.