Ishan Ethridge 6/17/15

English Period 8

Context and Reflection

The piece I have chosen to revise was a slice of life I did a long time ago around the beginning of the school year.  this slice of life is about one of the greatest moments of my life which was hitting my first home run and why I chose it.  In this piece I will be showing my growth as a writer specifically in description words and vocabulary.  I tried to make the piece more exciting and visual allowing it to draw the reader in so without further ado here it is.

The Piece:

My First Home Run

The blazing sun sent multiple bright rays down practically piercing the car turning into a little red microwave.  My two other teammates Robbie and Felix were in the car on our way to syracuse for a double header against CNY red.  Halfway through was when the heat really hit us melting in the heat cramped in the little red car that barely could.   Some how we survived long enough to make it to the field but it wasn't at all what we expected.  The field looked as if it was part of the Alps, hills and valleys through the infield and outfield blanketed with bright green fields.  But this wasn't what really shocked us the most, what shocked us the most was the fence.  The fence was only one hundred fifty foot fence compared to a two hundred twenty foot fence but to compensate it was a towering twenty feet instead of a normal four feet.  

The game moved along slowly as each team lost energy almost being able to see the heat suck up all the fiery energy.  Teammates Ethan and Dom were on third and first base waiting for a base hit to move them around when our number four batter Felix came up to the plate.  Felix loaded pulling the bat back ready to swing when the ball came in.  He squared up and swung before you saw the ball you could hear it off the bat a loud crack ripping through the quiet atmosphere.  It wasn't so quiet for long as the team saw the ball carry over the fence screaming and yelling rushing to home ready to congratulate Felix.  

Next I was up still flowing with adrenaline ready just to really give the ball a pounding.  First pitch was outside but swung missing the bat carried me away from the ball jerking me across home plate.  I was getting a bit ahead of myself too eager to hit the ball so I take a big breath to gain back my composure.  I was ready my mind in complete zen ready to hit the ball.  The ball came in a bit high and right down the middle exactly how I like it.  I cocked the bat bringing it to my ear and pulling the bat down to greet the ball.  As soon as I made contact I knew it was a big hit so I just ran straight to first without hesitation.  About to round first I look over just in time to see the ball disappear over the towering fence trying to be humble and not screaming for joy until reaching home.  I slowed to a jog around the bases watching the teammates flood to home once again.  Jumping on the plate crowded by my teammates but over the screaming and yelling I thought to myself how happy I was to have hit a home run especially back to back ones with Felix.

About the Author

My name is Ishan Ethridge and I am currently in Mr. Scott’s 8th period english class.  Describing me as a student is pretty hard as I have changed throughout the year.  in the beginning of the year I worked constantly trying to get the best possible grade and working my butt off.  I was also a very productive worker not taking breaks or stopping just wanting to get a good grade and get it done.  Now I think English has made a big impact on my work habits.  I have learned to take my time and enjoy my work.  Overall the quality of my work has improved but as always I can go to greater lengths to improve my work.