Growing Up

Growing Up

For my final exam I'm reflecting on an old piece of writing to show how I've changed. I'm “showing off” what I've learned this year. I chose this piece “Growing Up“ because it was a good piece of writing but could be improved, and I knew revising it would make it even better. I changed the format because it was in three paragraphs, but now it’s just one. I changed a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes because incorrect spelling and grammar really ruins writing. I also changed my conclusion because I believe it wasn’t strong enough to start out with. When I originally wrote this I had quotes, but nothing to explain them, Now I've added several lines that explain the quotes to make it better.

Growing up changes things. It changes you, around you, how people see you. It changes everything. After reading “On Turning Ten” and “The Lighthouse” it’s clear to me that both passages show the negatives and positives of growing up. In “On Turning Ten” the author uses hyperbole's to make what he or she is describing seem dark and different, which it is, but it’s exaggerated. As a child, you expect so much out of life but once you reach a certain point in time where you see things how they really are. This can either be frustrating or eye opening. On line 24 of “On Turning Ten” it says, “This is the beginning of sadness I say to myself as I walk through the universe in my sneakers”. This quote really shows that as you age, things get harder and people expect more of you. In “The Lighthouse” the author uses a lot of imagery to help you picture the lighthouse, the view, the keeper, and even the seagulls. With time, people you thought were important will see change in you and forget things, you will too. On the last line of “The Lighthouse” it says, “Was he? I said as if I were talking of someone whom I didn’t know”. This quote shows that even in just a year, so much can happen that even people you might always remember can forget you. Both of these passages show the negatives and positives in such a descriptive way.

I’m Samantha Walker. I’m in 7th grade and I go to DeWitt Middle School. This year in English I have improved my writing skills a lot. To me, English this year seemed almost exactly like English last year, which was kind of disappointing. My spelling has improved, and so has my knowledge of grammar and how to use those skills. We covered almost everything we did last year but in more depth which helped me learn some of the things I’ve forgotten.

Slice Of Life

Deborah Thornton                                                                                                             English
June 16, 2015                                                                                                                    Period. 1



Context And Reflection:

The piece I chose was a “Slice of Life” I wrote earlier in the year. It tells what happened about what I do on weekends. It’s about my cats and about what I do on weekends, it tells people that I like to run and that I have  2 pet cats. The learning I am “showing off” is that I can go into very descriptive writing, showing the 5 senses in the writing. I chose this this piece because, it was probably the most appropriate piece to revise, and add to. Changes I did to the piece was adding more descriptive details to specific parts (5 senses). I also put more facts in about how that day went. These changes will make my piece better, because the whole point of the piece I chose was to make the writing more detailed and so it would use a lot more imagery as the reader reads it.

The Piece:

The cool breeze blew through my long dark brown hair.  The soft green grass beneath my feet, with two furry soft kittens near by. I step over the two creatures and started to run, colors of green, yellow, and blue I can see out of the corner of my eye. I run down a road for around a mile, then I turn around and find the two furry creatures right behind me. I started to walk back towards my house. As I approach the top of my rocky driveway, I start to run again. When I got to the bottom of my driveway, I sat down on  a huge gray rock. The rock was smooth, but right when I went to sit down the two kittens hopped onto my lap. I pet their backs for awhile. I heard birds chirping and I a loud purr come from my cats. I watched the sky turn from pink, to purple, to yellow, to black, as the sun went down. Not much later, I was sitting in the dark and everything around me was calm and quiet, and dark. I looked up at the sky watching the stars that sparkled like diamonds and small flying insects fly around my head. I looked down to see to half dozed off kittens in my lap. I brought them into my garage and set them onto a warm blanket. Then I walked into my warm house, and went to bed.

About The Author:

I’m Deborah Thornton, an Asian on the fire ants team at Dewitt Middle School. I have definitely improved as a writer this year that last year. As an English student, comparing myself from this year to last year I can tell you that I haven’t really changed. I still push myself to the most I can give to assignments and I still make sure that the assignment is in on time or earlier. As a 6th grader, I know that last year my spelling wasn’t perfect, I made a lot of grammar mistakes, and I used big words but used them in the wrong way. This year I have learned a lot of new words and when to use them in the right context. I also learned a lot more about when to put apostrophes and when to cut a sentence into a few, so it won’t become a run on sentence.  Using these comparisons from last year to this year, I have definitely grown as a writer, and also in many other ways too.

My final draft of my "Slice of Life"- revised (261 words long)

Goldali Danberg Biggs English

4-14-15 Period:1

   

About the Author

Hello, my name is Goldali Danberg Biggs and I enjoy to write creative pieces. Last year my writing skills were levels below what I can do now, I have learned to use proper citation and figurative language. I think that I have improved greatly from last year to the end of this year. Especially in writing about things that I have heard or read, this is mostly because of “Slice of Life” writing. That is why I chose to “show off” one of (in my opinion) my best slice of life pieces.. chose this piece  specifically for my final, because I think that it shows my creativity as a growing writer. I think this is a better pieces of mine, because it shows my skills in using figurative language.  The first time I wrote this piece I thought it was really good, but coming back to it for my final I had to make some changes. For example I asked some of my friends to read it over and make comments on the piece, this helped me understand in the reader's point of view of the piece. After reading over the comments I changed the sections in which they were directing. this piece was also too short for the assignment, but by doing the corrections it grew in size, making it eligible for the final. During this past school year I have learned a lot about figurative language, and how to use it properly. This slice of life shows my improvement on using figurative language from the beginning of the year to now.

The little Red Wagon

The smooth grass slides through my toes as I  slowly trudge up the side of the  little hill. Still early, the morning dew still rests on the tip of the grass and the sun just peaking out from behind the tall trees. The leaves, left from fall crackle under my bare feet. The rusted little wagon slips out of my grasp, falling, falling. A fast flowing stream is in the future for my little wagon.  I race down the hill, tripping on twigs and stone. Trying to catch my wagon, like a policeman chasing a robber. The wagon now only two inches from the cold, rocky stream. I stop, catching my breath knowing that I will not make it in time to stop my wagon. Panting as a dog after a long walk, on a hot summer day. Watching,  and waiting as a cat does a fish in a bowl. The little red wagon does not stop, faster and faster it goes. I try again to catch it, the wagon turns away from the stream in it’s path. No log or stone there to block it’s way, as if the wagon knows not to fall in. As a human does, knowing not to swim in an ocean full of sharks. My little wagon just barely passes by the rushing stream.  I stop in my path, just watching my wagon slide down the hill, as if it was running home. All the way home, the wagon goes, all the way home.

                                               

Slice of Life: Softballs- Not So Soft

Context and Reflection

         This is a "Slice of Life" piece. It's a small "slice" of a day in your life- exploded with detail and figurative language, such as similes and personification. This piece helps to show my knowledge of figurative language use because this piece of writing demands vivid details, and figurative language can help you do that.
          I chose this piece because it reflects who I am outside of school. I love playing softball, and I also love playing competitively, so this piece reflects my personality.
          Before I revised, my writing wasn't very interesting. It didn't have details to pull readers in. Now, my piece shows, not tells. It has figurative language by the bushel and tons of details. These make the piece all the more interesting for the reader. I did two drafts and then did a four step revision conference with my mom (who is an English major) and then made my final. I also changed my word choice a lot. That made each sentence more enriching with a better word each time.
          And now my piece!

Softballs-Not So Soft

          Do you know the feeling of a close game? That's what I felt on the Elmira field. I desperately wanted a win. It might be our only chance. And I was at bat.
          My heart pounded as I stepped into the chalk batter's box with my trusty black and yellow bat. My gloved fingers gripped the bat tightly as I envisioned hearing the thwack of the bat connecting with the ball.
          I took a deep breath and shook my helmeted head, doing my before-at-bat ritual. I cleared my mind, then narrowed my eyes. I watched the dark-haired girl who was pitching as she fingered the ball.
          The pitch was in the dirt. It bounced off home with a dull thunk and rolled in the dirt.
          I stepped out of the box to see if my coach wanted to give me a sign. He didn't give me a sign, so I turned back to the pitcher and silently dared her to throw me a strike.
          My bat swished and missed the ball. Rage boiled up inside me as I saw her little grin. I ignored that smug little smile and wished for revenge.
          What happened next couldn't have been more different.
          For a split second, I saw the ball in the dirt. The next thing I knew, my right ankle howled in pain. I dropped my bat from shock and grabbed my foot, my face contorted with pain. I waved away my coach and umpires and walked proudly to first base.
          When my coach gave the signal to steal, I ran as fast as lightning for second. The ball had been overthrown! I scrambled to my feet and headed to third. As soon as the play was over, I breathlessly high-fived my coach. Then I thundered home on the next pitch and slid.
          "SAFE!"
           I had a grin all over my face as I beat the dust off my pants and high-fived my teammates at the same time. I felt like a contributor and a valued player; even if being hit was the price.

About the Author

          I am a 7th grader at DeWitt Middle School on the Fire Ants team. I have enjoyed English class both years at DeWitt and I love writing YA novel ideas. I have improved greatly; I went from not knowing how to write a topic sentence at the beginning of 6th grade to writing a novel in 7th grade. The reasons behind this are two great teachers, Ms. Sterk and Mr. Scott, teaching each little thing clearly and helping me to achieve great new heights. I also made sure to learn from every mistake I made. And finally, I have learned from asking questions when I don't understand something. That is always a good idea.

Everyday Morning Or Not?

Everyday Morning Or Not?

By Iryna

Part 1: Context and Reflection

Part 2: The Piece

Part 3: About the Author

 Part 1:
 I am doing one of my slice of life writings. I want to show off my slice of life story because I think that it is more appealing than any other thing I write. I choose to do a slice of life because it needed some editing and I thought I can do better to make it more appealing. In my editing I rechecked my GUMS and tried to make old often used words into new not usually used words. I think that these changes make the writing better because the writing gets more appealing.

Part 2: 
Today morning I slipped out of bed as easy as a knife slides through melted butter. I usually don’t get up even if I put on five alarms, minute after minute. I hop over to the sink in the bathroom and gently push the water into my face. Soon after I squirt some paste onto my toothbrush and move it in my mouth as if it was mint candy then wash it out with a waterfall of pure, gentle water wave. I glide to my room and open the desk. I reach inside my hand reaching farther and farther. I finally grab it, the lotion I need. Spread it on my hands. The smell of ripe strawberry sitting in the sun charging it’s battery of sweetness.

Part 3:
I am Iryna, a student in Dewitt Middle School. In class of English class, with the teacher Mr. Scott and Ms. Sherman. I think I did better than the beginning of the year because I learned about things I haven't yet known when it was the beginning of the year.

Attention: All English classes, we are signing on to Edmodo. Many class activities will be provided through this online tool that many of you are already familiar with. Take a moment to sign in to your specific class period. Please see an instructor if you have any difficulty joining your specific English class period.  

Period 1 invite: https://edmo.do/j/y5h3ga     or sign in on a separate tab using invit code - 65a3q8

Period 3 invite:https://edmo.do/j/s9j3r2        or sign in on a separate tab using invit code - w2qfaq  

Period 4 invite:https://edmo.do/j/mc77gt      or sign in on a separate tab using invit code - 2477i2

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Source Credibility

Below you will find your assigned article. Click on it to determine if the source is credible or not, use your guiding questions and clues to help you.  

1. “Long-necked ‘Dragon’ Dinosaur Found in China: Why it Didn’t Tip Over”

http://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-extreme-dinosaur-dragonlike-neck-20150129-story.html

     2.  Syracuse Self-imposes Postseason Ban on Men’s Basketball Program”

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/syracuse-basketball-bans-postseason-article-1.2103706

     3. “Shandia”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shandia

   

      4. “Statue of Liberty Stolen, NYPD Blame French Terrorists”

http://empirenews.net/statue-of-liberty-stolen-nypd-blame-french-terrorists/

      5. “Save the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus”

http://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus/

     6. “Big Bang Claim Fizzles Out”

http://tweentribune.com/tween56/big-bang-claim-fizzles-out

7. “Rihanna Swims With Sharks for a Photo Shoot Because She's Edgy Like That” http://www.lifeandstylemag.com/posts/rihanna-swims-with-sharks-for-a-photo-shoot-because-she-s-edgy-like-that-51054